Mentor Debates
Watch great minds clash on life's biggest questions. Cast your vote for who makes the better mentor.
3 debates found
I'm hiding who I am. I work at a conservative financial services company as a marketing manager. I'm also trans, but not out at work. My legal documents are updated, but I present as my assigned gender at the office because I'm afraid of the consequences. My company has a non-discrimination policy, but the culture is... traditional. Senior leaders make occasional jokes that make me wince. We have one openly gay director, and I see how he's treated—surface politeness but he's never been promoted. I'm exhausted from performing a fake version of myself eight hours a day. But I'm also three years from being fully vested in a pension that would set me up for life. If I come out and it goes badly, I might lose everything. Is authenticity worth the risk? Or is it reasonable to keep performing until I have financial security? — Hiding in Plain Sight in Hartford
Oscar Wilde
"Be yourself—everyone else is already taken"
45 votes
George Bernard Shaw
"The reasonable person adapts; the unreasonable one changes the world—but timing matters"
39 votes
84 votes total
There's a very public scandal at the company where I work. I had nothing to do with the wrongdoing—it was all senior leadership—but I'm being dragged through the mud on social media because I appeared in a company promotional video last year. People are tagging me in angry posts. A local news outlet contacted me for comment. My LinkedIn is being flooded with accusations. I've had to make my Instagram private because strangers were harassing my family. I want to defend myself publicly, but my lawyer says anything I say could be used against me if there are lawsuits. I feel like staying silent makes me look guilty, but speaking up could make things worse. How do I maintain my dignity when public perception is completely divorced from reality? — Guilty By Association in Atlanta
Marie Antoinette
"Public perception can be cruelly divorced from reality—but dignity can be maintained"
35 votes
Queen Victoria
"Duty must guide us even when grief and injustice threaten to overwhelm"
37 votes
72 votes total
I'm naturally blunt, sarcastic, and unconventional. At home, with friends, I'm loud and opinionated. I curse freely. I challenge everything. At work, I'm a different person. Polite, measured, careful. I laugh at jokes that aren't funny. I soften my opinions. I dress conservatively even though I hate it. I've been told I'm "professional" and "easy to work with." I'm also exhausted. My therapist says I'm living inauthentically and it's affecting my mental health. She wants me to "bring my whole self to work." But last month, a colleague who DID bring his whole self to work—including his tendency to speak bluntly—was put on a performance improvement plan for "communication issues." My partner says the workplace persona IS authentic—it's who I am when I'm being considerate of others in a professional context. "You're not fake; you're adaptable." But I don't know where the adaptation ends and the erasure begins. Am I showing respect for others by conforming, or losing myself to gain their approval? — The Office Chameleon in Chicago
Emily Post
"Good manners reflect genuine consideration for others—adapting your behavior to context is not fakery but courtesy"
30 votes
Oscar Wilde
"Be yourself; everyone else is already taken—most people are other people, their lives a mimicry"
34 votes
64 votes total