Mentor Debates
Watch great minds clash on life's biggest questions. Cast your vote for who makes the better mentor.
9 debates found
I'm earning $180,000 a year as a product manager at a tech startup in Austin. On paper, my life looks great. In reality, I work 60+ hours a week, haven't taken a real vacation in three years, and had a panic attack in my car before a board presentation last month. My husband and I just inherited a small farmhouse in Vermont from his grandmother. It needs work, but it's paid off. Part of me fantasizes about quitting everything, moving there, and starting a small CSA farm. I've been reading about permaculture. We have enough savings to last 18 months. My parents think I'm having a breakdown. My boss says I'm "on track for VP" if I stick it out two more years. My husband says he'll support whatever I decide, which somehow makes it harder. I know the "smart" move is probably to stay, pay off student loans faster, and max out retirement. But I wake up every morning dreading my inbox. Is this a mid-life crisis I'll regret, or should I trust this pull toward a simpler life? — Burned Out in Austin
Benjamin Franklin
"Industry and steady effort build the foundation for true freedom"
49 votes
Henry David Thoreau
"Most people live lives of quiet desperation—simplify before it's too late"
44 votes
93 votes total
Last year I developed a protocol that significantly improved patient outcomes in my unit at the hospital where I work. I documented everything, gathered data, and presented it to hospital leadership. They said "interesting" and did nothing. Six months later, a male doctor "discovered" the same approach and suddenly it's being implemented hospital-wide with his name on it. No one remembers my presentation. When I mentioned it to my supervisor, she said "that's just how it works here" and warned me not to make waves. I'm furious but also exhausted. I don't care about credit—I care about patients. But I also don't want to be invisible forever. How should I handle this, and how do I keep pushing for what matters when the system keeps erasing me? — Nursing Innovator in Indianapolis
Nikola Tesla
"The present is theirs; the future, for which I really worked, is mine"
42 votes
Florence Nightingale
"The work matters more than the recognition—but recognition enables more work"
45 votes
87 votes total
Is it a sense of justice or bitterness that motivates me? Two years ago, a senior partner at my firm retired and I was passed over for someone who joined six months after me—but who went to a more prestigious law school and has family connections to major clients. I've been stewing ever since. I work harder than anyone in my department. I bill more hours, and my outcomes are better. But I can't stop obsessing over this injustice. I've started looking at other firms, but part of me wants to stay and prove them wrong. My wife says the bitterness is changing me. I snap at the kids. I check my work email at dinner. I fantasize about my rival failing spectacularly. Is my ambition healthy or is it destroying me? Should I leave for a fresh start or stay and fight for what I deserve? — Passed Over in Philadelphia
Alexander Hamilton
"Rise above your circumstances through relentless effort and strategic brilliance"
39 votes
Abraham Lincoln
"Hold firm to what matters, but examine whether this battle serves your larger purpose"
47 votes
86 votes total
I'm about to attend my first industry conference as a new VP. I've been Googling "how to network" and everything I find feels fake—"remember names by repeating them," "ask about their weekend," "follow up within 24 hours." I'm naturally introverted and a little awkward. The idea of working a room makes me want to hide in the bathroom. But I know these connections matter for my career. My mentor says "just be yourself" but myself wants to read in the corner. My wife says "play the game" but that feels inauthentic. Can I succeed in a world that seems designed for extroverts without becoming someone I'm not? — Introvert in the Spotlight in San Jose
Florence Hartley
"True politeness is not mere form but genuine consideration for others"
37 votes
Oscar Wilde
"Be yourself—everyone else is already taken"
43 votes
80 votes total
Should I shut up and get along with everyone else? Everyone at the company where I work seems to agree on everything. Meetings are just people nodding. When I raise questions or point out flaws in plans, I'm told I'm "not being a team player" or "bringing negativity." Last month I questioned whether our new product launch was ready—I had data showing quality issues. My boss said I was "creating obstacles." The product launched with exactly the problems I predicted. Nobody acknowledged I was right. I believe challenging ideas makes them stronger. But my "intellectual curiosity" is being framed as insubordination. Should I learn to shut up and go along, or keep pushing even if it damages my career? — The Only One Asking Why in Wichita
Denis Diderot
"Question everything, especially what you think you know"
38 votes
George Bernard Shaw
"The reasonable person adapts; the unreasonable one changes the world"
37 votes
75 votes total
I'm 35 and just finished my degree after ten years of night school while working full-time. I'm finally ready to start my "real" career—except I'm competing with 25-year-olds who have ten years of experience I don't have. My mentor says I should be aggressive—apply for positions above my level, network relentlessly, market myself as a "non-traditional candidate" with "real world experience." "You don't have time to work your way up," she says. "You need to leapfrog." But I'm not a natural self-promoter. I want to learn, to build skills methodically, to earn my advancement. The aggressive approach feels like asking for things I haven't yet deserved. My mentor says that's imposter syndrome talking. "Men half as qualified don't hesitate to ask for twice as much. Why should you?" She's right that I undervalue myself. But I also know that I have gaps—real gaps, not just perceived ones. Is it better to fake confidence until I feel it, or to build genuine competence even if it takes longer? — The Late Starter in Houston
Michael Faraday
"Work, finish, publish—let your work speak for itself; true mastery comes from patient, methodical study"
28 votes
Alexander Hamilton
"Rise above your circumstances through relentless effort and strategic brilliance—your legacy is built daily through the quality of your work"
32 votes
60 votes total
I work 70 hours a week. I'm successful—partner at my law firm by 38, well compensated, respected in my field. I'm also exhausted, my marriage is strained, and I see my kids mostly on weekends. When I try to cut back, I feel guilty. Part of this is practical—my position requires the hours. But part of it is deeper: I believe work is good. I believe I was put on this earth to use my abilities to their fullest. Coasting feels like sin. My therapist says I've "moralized" work in an unhealthy way. "Work is just work," she says. "It's a means to an end—money, security, maybe some satisfaction. But it's not a calling, and treating it as one lets your firm exploit you." But when I imagine working just enough to get by—doing adequate work, having adequate success, being an adequate lawyer—something in me rebels. That feels like a betrayal of the gifts I've been given. Is my dedication to work a virtue or a pathology? Is there meaning in labor itself, or am I fooling myself? — The Workaholic in Dallas
John Calvin
"God calls each person to a station—faithfulness in that calling glorifies Him more than leisure"
32 votes
Benjamin Franklin
"Industry is a virtue, but a virtue among many—the balanced life serves oneself and others best"
27 votes
59 votes total
I'm a 42-year-old tech executive making $400K a year. On paper, I've "made it." Corner office, stock options, respect in the industry. I feel nothing. I wake up at 5am for calls with Asia, spend my days in meetings that don't matter, come home too exhausted to play with my kids. Last week I sat in my Tesla in the parking garage for 20 minutes, unable to make myself go inside. I keep thinking about just... walking away. Selling everything. Maybe teaching high school math. Maybe just traveling until I figure out who I actually am. My wife thinks I'm having a midlife crisis. My therapist says I'm depressed. My father says I'm ungrateful. But something in me is dying, and I don't know how to save it without burning down everything I've built. Is there wisdom in walking away from success? Or am I just running from problems that will follow me anywhere? — Burning Out on the Treadmill in Denver
Siddhartha
"True wisdom comes not from teachers or scriptures, but from experiencing life fully"
49 votes
Benjamin Franklin
"An investment in knowledge pays the best interest—small, consistent habits compound into great change"
43 votes
92 votes total
I have been a high school English teacher for 10 years, but the stress and the low pay are finally getting to me, and I want to transition into the corporate world. The problem is that every job listing for 'Instructional Design' or 'Corporate Trainer' asks for 3-5 years of corporate experience, which I don't have. I know my skills in curriculum planning and public speaking translate perfectly, but I can't seem to get past the automated resume screeners. How do I rewrite my resume to translate 'classroom management' into business language so recruiters take me seriously? I feel stuck and I don't want to go back to school for another degree if I don't have to.
Benjamin Franklin
"Industry and self-improvement open any door—translate your skills strategically"
37 votes
Florence Nightingale
"Before you flee, ask: are you running toward something or away from something?"
50 votes
87 votes total