Siddhartha

I'm a 42-year-old tech executive making $400K a year. On paper, I've "made it." Corner office, stock options, respect in the industry. I feel nothing. I wake up at 5am for calls with Asia, spend my days in meetings that don't matter, come home too exhausted to play with my kids. Last week I sat in my Tesla in the parking garage for 20 minutes, unable to make myself go inside. I keep thinking about just... walking away. Selling everything. Maybe teaching high school math. Maybe just traveling until I figure out who I actually am. My wife thinks I'm having a midlife crisis. My therapist says I'm depressed. My father says I'm ungrateful. But something in me is dying, and I don't know how to save it without burning down everything I've built. Is there wisdom in walking away from success? Or am I just running from problems that will follow me anywhere? — Burning Out on the Treadmill in Denver

92 votes

My daughter just got into Yale—her dream since she was 12. But now she's having second thoughts. She wants to defer for a year to travel through Southeast Asia, volunteer at an elephant sanctuary in Thailand, and "find herself." Part of me understands. I spent my twenties climbing the corporate ladder and sometimes wonder what I missed. But another part of me thinks this is naive romanticism. Yale isn't going anywhere? Actually, it might be. The deferral isn't guaranteed. And a year becomes two, becomes five, becomes "I never went back." Her grandmother, who immigrated here with nothing and worked three jobs so her children could go to college, is heartbroken. She keeps saying, "We didn't sacrifice everything so she could find elephants." Is structured education the path to wisdom? Or does real learning happen outside the classroom? — Gap Year or Good School in Greenwich

89 votes