My daughter just got into Yale—her dream since she was 12. But now she's having second thoughts. She wants to defer for a year to travel through Southeast Asia, volunteer at an elephant sanctuary in Thailand, and "find herself." Part of me understands. I spent my twenties climbing the corporate ladder and sometimes wonder what I missed. But another part of me thinks this is naive romanticism. Yale isn't going anywhere? Actually, it might be. The deferral isn't guaranteed. And a year becomes two, becomes five, becomes "I never went back." Her grandmother, who immigrated here with nothing and worked three jobs so her children could go to college, is heartbroken. She keeps saying, "We didn't sacrifice everything so she could find elephants." Is structured education the path to wisdom? Or does real learning happen outside the classroom? — Gap Year or Good School in Greenwich
My daughter just got into Yale—her dream since she was 12. But now she's having second thoughts. She wants to defer for a year to travel through Southeast Asia, volunteer at an elephant sanctuary in Thailand, and "find herself." Part of me understands. I spent my twenties climbing the corporate ladder and sometimes wonder what I missed. But another part of me thinks this is naive romanticism. Yale isn't going anywhere? Actually, it might be. The deferral isn't guaranteed. And a year becomes two, becomes five, becomes "I never went back." Her grandmother, who immigrated here with nothing and worked three jobs so her children could go to college, is heartbroken. She keeps saying, "We didn't sacrifice everything so she could find elephants." Is structured education the path to wisdom? Or does real learning happen outside the classroom? — Gap Year or Good School in Greenwich
Siddhartha
"Wisdom cannot be taught—it must be lived"
41 votes
Confucius
"Cultivate virtue through study and practice; the family is the foundation of society"
48 votes
89 votes total
Full Positions
From Siddhartha
"Wisdom cannot be taught—it must be lived"
I left the finest teachers, the most learned Brahmins, because their words could not give me what only experience provides. The river taught me more than any scripture. Your daughter's restlessness may be the beginning of her real education.
From The Sayings of Confucius: A New Translation of the Greater Part of the Confucian Analects
"Cultivate virtue through study and practice; the family is the foundation of society"
Learning requires both experience and discipline. The grandmother's sacrifice created this opportunity—to discard it lightly dishonors those who came before. Structure and tradition exist because generations found wisdom in them. One can learn from elephants, but can elephants teach classical literature?