I'm a working mom of three who feels like I'm failing at everything. My house is always messy. Dinner is often cereal or takeout. I forgot my son's school picture day. I missed a deadline at work because I was at a pediatrician appointment. My mother-in-law has opinions about all of this. She raised four kids, kept an immaculate house, and always had dinner on the table at 6pm. When I say times are different now, she says "standards are standards." I know I can't do everything, but I feel like I'm not doing anything well. Should I lower my standards and accept "good enough," or should I get more organized and disciplined so I can actually achieve excellence in at least some areas? — Drowning in the Domestic in Dallas

From A guide to modern cookery

"Good cooking is the foundation of genuine happiness—but simplicity is the keynote of elegance"

A well-organized kitchen is the foundation of a great restaurant—and a great home. But organization means ruthless prioritization, not doing everything. Choose three things that matter most. Do those excellently. Release the rest without guilt.

From The Whitehouse Cookbook (1887): Cooking, Toilet and Household Recipes, Menus, Dinner-Giving, Table Etiquette, Care of the Sick, Health Suggestions, Facts Worth Knowing, Etc., Etc.; The Whole Comprising a Comprehensive Cyclopedia of Information for the Home

"A well-ordered household is the foundation of a happy life—but order serves the family, not the reverse"

Practical knowledge, applied with care, elevates daily life. But your mother-in-law raised children in a different economy. The goal is not an immaculate house but a home where people feel loved. Cereal for dinner with present parents beats a formal meal with exhausted ones.