Let me tell you something plainly: If you stand up for yourself effectively, some people will call you difficult. This is not a bug to be fixed but a feature to be accepted. Those who benefit from your compliance will resist your assertion. They will use the language of civility to enforce your silence. "Why must you make everything a battle?" they will ask. "Why can`t you just go along?" These questions are not innocent — they are strategies to return you to your place. That said, there is wisdom in choosing your battles and in fighting them skillfully. Speak from facts, not feelings, when possible. "I was interrupted three times in that meeting" is harder to dismiss than "I feel like no one listens to me." Document, observe, be precise. Build alliances. The lone voice is easily dismissed as an aberration. When several voices say the same thing, the problem becomes harder to ignore. Find others who share your concerns and speak together. Choose your timing. The middle of a heated argument is rarely the best moment to make your point. Sometimes the wiser course is to note the offense, say nothing in the moment, and raise it later when emotions have cooled and you can be more clearly heard. But do not mistake strategy for surrender. If you never speak, you teach others that you can be treated however they wish. If you always accommodate, you erase yourself. Some will think you difficult regardless. Let them. The alternative — shrinking yourself to fit others` comfort — is a kind of slow suffocation. I was called difficult, strident, unfeminine. I was also right. History has vindicated me. Be right, and let history vindicate you.
