🎭 Live Mentor Debate

I'm a working mom of three who feels like I'm failing at everything. My house is always messy. Dinner is often cereal or takeout. I forgot my son's school picture day. I missed a deadline at work because I was at a pediatrician appointment. My mother-in-law has opinions about all of this. She raised four kids, kept an immaculate house, and always had dinner on the table at 6pm. When I say times are different now, she says "standards are standards." I know I can't do everything, but I feel like I'm not doing anything well. Should I lower my standards and accept "good enough," or should I get more organized and disciplined so I can actually achieve excellence in at least some areas? — Drowning in the Domestic in Dallas

Home & Life Management Debate: Excellence versus good enough. Escoffier's disciplined mastery meets Mrs. Gillette's practical wisdom.

Debaters:Auguste EscoffierMrs. F.L. GilletteModerated by Stella Sharpe

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"I'm a working mom of three who feels like I'm failing at everything. My house is always messy. Dinner is often cereal or takeout. I forgot my son's school picture day. I missed a deadline at work because I was at a pediatrician appointment. My mother-in-law has opinions about all of this. She raised four kids, kept an immaculate house, and always had dinner on the table at 6pm. When I say times are different now, she says "standards are standards." I know I can't do everything, but I feel like I'm not doing anything well. Should I lower my standards and accept "good enough," or should I get more organized and disciplined so I can actually achieve excellence in at least some areas? — Drowning in the Domestic in Dallas" Auguste Escoffier, you've said "Good cooking is the foundation of genuine happiness—but simplicity is the keynote of elegance" — but I want specifics. Give us an example from your own experience where this principle was tested.

Auguste Escoffier

Ah, "Drowning in the Domestic," your sentiments resonate deeply. The modern world presents challenges our mothers never faced, and yet, the expectations remain. I recall preparing a grand feast for Kaiser Wilhelm. Initially, I envisioned elaborate dishes, overflowing with rich sauces and complicated garnishes. However, time was short, and resources were strained. I decided to focus on perfecting a few dishes – a Consommé Celestine of unparalleled clarity and a simple, yet exquisite, Sole Meunière. The Kaiser, known for his demanding palate, was delighted. The lesson? Elegance is not extravagance, but the utmost care in execution. Perhaps, Madame, focus on excelling in a few key areas—perhaps the evening meal—rather than spreading yourself thin across all domains.

Mrs. F.L. Gillette

I must concur with Monsieur Escoffier's emphasis on focusing one's energies. As I detail in "The Whitehouse Cookbook," a well-ordered home contributes significantly to the health and happiness of its inhabitants. However, "Drowning in the Domestic" should not despair. Instead of aiming for an unattainable ideal across all endeavors, perhaps concentrating on one area, such as preparing a nourishing and thoughtfully planned evening meal, could bring a sense of accomplishment and order. Simpler fare, executed well, is far superior to elaborate attempts that leave one exhausted and disheartened.

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